Sometimes when I hear a person tell someone else (or myself) to "enjoy every moment" (usually referring to their children being young/infants/toddlers) I just want to punch something. I won't say that I want to punch someone because that would be going to far. Right?
You see, I started this blog months back with the intention to write once a month to help others that are going through a similar time in life. Not long after I started it my two youngest begain walking (better yet, running). With a two year old leading the pack, they were off to a quick start. They level the house within 20 minutes of being awake every morning. Closets emptied. Cabinets bare. Drawers "re-ogranized". I just don't have many moments to sit at the computer and type. Their nap times are filled with my quiet time, dinner prep, laundry, cleaning (all of the things that won't happen during waking hours). Needless to say, my prayer life has never been better. At least 4 times per minute I say, "God help me."
So, when someone says enjoy every moment I really want to start reeling off every moment to them and see if maybe they would like to come enjoy it all with me. Most definitely there are moments that I enjoy and my heart is so full that I feel like it could explode, but those moments seem to happen a lot less than the ones I am just surviving.
Maybe I am not a good mom and I should learn to enjoy cleaning poop out of the bathtub and out from under finger nails? Oh and I should learn to enjoy multiple children teething at the same time. Yes. That's it! While I am enjoying the chorus of crying I will join in with nails screeching down a chalkboard. Sounds enjoyable at least.
We all have seasons of suffering/hardship. Right now there is a mom of a teenager that is at wit's end or a wife that wants to throw in the towel. I am sure there is a mom to a few toddlers that feels like she may not survive another tantrum trio (not that I know anyone like that).
I guess what I am trying to say is that we should be careful what we tell people to enjoy. They may have had the hardest day of their lives and now feel guilty and inadequate because they do not "feel" a certain way. We can all look back on different seasons of hardship and suffering with a certain level of fondness. Our fondness probably stems mostly from the fact that we grew during that time, but not that we enjoyed every moment of it.
Just keep in mind that when someone is in a hard season they don't want to hear how they should enjoy it. They need to hear that they can endure it.
Just a few things that help me endure the hardest days: Jake's laugh & our crazy conversations (toddler talk), Cole's pouty face & the way he runs to greet me, the way Cal throws his head back to laugh & his mischevious grin....these little things help me make it until the next enjoyable moment.
"We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 1:3
Friday, December 7, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Hard times...
Some of the hardest times for me, especially when the boys were still in the infant stage, is when my husband works. He is in law enforcement so long shifts are a norm. It seems it is rare that he is off work on time and overtime is almost always looming around the corner. He only works 4 days per week, but man do those 4 days feel like weeks.
When the twins were tiny I would count down the hours, then minutes, until he would get home. The phone calls that he made to let me know it would be a late night were crushing blows. I knew when he got home I couldn't drop the kids on him and run, but it was definitely a comfort, a familiar face...an adult to converse with. Any human can identify with being lonely. It's not that I was alone. I mean, I did have three boys to keep me "company" all day. I just needed reinforcement that I was doing this mom thing correctly. Or maybe that I wasn't going crazy all alone?
There are a few things that I have learned when dealing with this issue:
1. I learned to be thankful. I have a husband that works hard to provide for his family without complaint.
2. I learned to be content. I had to cherish the time we did have together and know that this is just a season. The winter always feels so long, but just around the corner is always spring (or summer if you live in the South).
3. I learned that I needed to plan breaks for myself. If that meant going to a friend's or relative's house. Is no one asking you over? Believe me, I get that....not many people want 3 boys 17 months apart at their house. Who cares!? Ask anyway! Tell them you need a change of scenery! Just be sure to not wear out your welcome. You may need to ask again....like, the next day. ;)
4. I learned that help isn't a sign that I am weak. Knowing my limits makes me stronger and wiser. Hire a sitter. I know money is tight for many, but in reality most can afford what they choose. It may be that you sacrifice in another area, but it's worth it. Every momma needs a break. If you can't afford a sitter just ask a friend or family member. More people are willing to help than you realize.
5. I learned to get fresh air! Go for walks. Stop and talk to the neighbors. There were some days that I wanted to drop a boy at each doorstep along my walk. I refrained, but sometimes the daydream kept me sane. ;)
6. Most importantly, I learned that no human can fulfill my longings. Get in the Word. Ask God to fill you up. He will do it!
If you feel alone, find someone to connect with. You may have to initiate, but that's okay. The person you reach out to may need you as much as you need them.
Remember that thriving is just around the corner!
When the twins were tiny I would count down the hours, then minutes, until he would get home. The phone calls that he made to let me know it would be a late night were crushing blows. I knew when he got home I couldn't drop the kids on him and run, but it was definitely a comfort, a familiar face...an adult to converse with. Any human can identify with being lonely. It's not that I was alone. I mean, I did have three boys to keep me "company" all day. I just needed reinforcement that I was doing this mom thing correctly. Or maybe that I wasn't going crazy all alone?
There are a few things that I have learned when dealing with this issue:
1. I learned to be thankful. I have a husband that works hard to provide for his family without complaint.
2. I learned to be content. I had to cherish the time we did have together and know that this is just a season. The winter always feels so long, but just around the corner is always spring (or summer if you live in the South).
3. I learned that I needed to plan breaks for myself. If that meant going to a friend's or relative's house. Is no one asking you over? Believe me, I get that....not many people want 3 boys 17 months apart at their house. Who cares!? Ask anyway! Tell them you need a change of scenery! Just be sure to not wear out your welcome. You may need to ask again....like, the next day. ;)
4. I learned that help isn't a sign that I am weak. Knowing my limits makes me stronger and wiser. Hire a sitter. I know money is tight for many, but in reality most can afford what they choose. It may be that you sacrifice in another area, but it's worth it. Every momma needs a break. If you can't afford a sitter just ask a friend or family member. More people are willing to help than you realize.
5. I learned to get fresh air! Go for walks. Stop and talk to the neighbors. There were some days that I wanted to drop a boy at each doorstep along my walk. I refrained, but sometimes the daydream kept me sane. ;)
6. Most importantly, I learned that no human can fulfill my longings. Get in the Word. Ask God to fill you up. He will do it!
If you feel alone, find someone to connect with. You may have to initiate, but that's okay. The person you reach out to may need you as much as you need them.
Remember that thriving is just around the corner!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
In My Weakness...
Lately, I seem to have heard or read about how God "doesn't call the equipped...He equips the called". For that, I am thankful. You see, at times, I feel like God was looking down on me and was like, " Wow. Look at her. She thinks she has it all under control with that one kid, husband and a job. Her faith is small and, honestly, she is downright weak." I know that God doesn't, necessarily, think like this. He loves us despite all those annoying quirks and our faithlessness. In my mind though....this is where he was like, "Yeah, I am gonna drop a couple more boys in on her. That should be exactly what breaks that camel's back". Sooo....3 boys, 17 months apart...here I am. Still standing. Barely.
I will never forget the day my doctor said (more like studdered), "It's two." I laughed on and off for days. Of course, it was mixed with crying. First, Jake, who was 10 months old, hadn't been sleeping through the night for too entirely long. Not to mention, I felt like he was finally a happy baby. Honestly, I did not want to be pregnant again. I had just lost the 65 lbs I had gained during that pregnancy. I knew I would need to quit my job, get a minivan and be doubly pregnant with a baby that wasn't even walking yet. You're probably thinking that most women would be so happy about this situation. Got ya, but there is one thing you should know...I am not most women.
The shock took a while to wear off (probably the day they were born is when denial ended). My emotions were all of the map during my pregnancy. I just could not wrap my head around the logistics of going places with 3 kids that needed to be placed in their carseats and strollers. Jake wouldn't be 18 months so he wouldn't be able to walk beside me (and be trusted). As you can see, the control freak in me was losing control. <insert God>
The babies came. The chaos began. When I think back to the first few months, I do not remember much. Except for the times that my mom and Joe took a night shift (and several amazing friends and family), I would run on less than an hour of sleep most nights (and so did my mom). The babies rarely slept and cried for what seemed like days straight. Jake would cry and cover his ears. I would cry for Jake, for the babies, for Joe and for myself. However, this go 'round was different. I remember praying that God would heal the babies (digestion/reflux), but that he would make us stronger. We didn't need the storm to, necessarily, hurry through but just give us the strength to get through it. To grow us in HIM. He did. I would listen to the Mandisa song, 'Stronger' often. The words that I would sing over and over were...."when the waves are taking you under hold on just a little bit longer. He knows this is gonna make you stronger."
Up until a few months ago, I would say were just surviving. Things seemed to get easier each month, but me breaking my wrist and being in a cast for a month was a little setback. Not my best move as a mother to 3 under 2. Again, we survived it. We are marching into our season of thriving as the babies approach one in a few short weeks. Things are anything but easy, BUT I believe that's been God's plan all along. If it's easy, I would be working on my own strength. Now, I am in a place where if it's not HIM, it's not happening. When my feet hit the floor each morning he knows the exact amount of energy I need for that day and I BELIEVE he will give it to me.
I am thankful for a God that knows my weaknesses and chooses to show HIS STRENGTH in them. He is my Provider. He is my Comforter. He is my Shield. He is my Fortress. He is my EVERYTHING.
If you are feeling like you can't go on....like you cant put one foot in front of the other....I understand. I have been there (and some days I am still there). The thing is...you can. Not on your own strenth, but in His. He created this world. He created you. He knows exactly what you need so rely on his knowledge, strength and power.
I'll leave you with these words from a favorite worship song of mine (You Never Let Go by Matt Redman):
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
Just hang on. Trust. Rest in HIS awesomess (I am certain that is scriptural). ;)
I will never forget the day my doctor said (more like studdered), "It's two." I laughed on and off for days. Of course, it was mixed with crying. First, Jake, who was 10 months old, hadn't been sleeping through the night for too entirely long. Not to mention, I felt like he was finally a happy baby. Honestly, I did not want to be pregnant again. I had just lost the 65 lbs I had gained during that pregnancy. I knew I would need to quit my job, get a minivan and be doubly pregnant with a baby that wasn't even walking yet. You're probably thinking that most women would be so happy about this situation. Got ya, but there is one thing you should know...I am not most women.
The shock took a while to wear off (probably the day they were born is when denial ended). My emotions were all of the map during my pregnancy. I just could not wrap my head around the logistics of going places with 3 kids that needed to be placed in their carseats and strollers. Jake wouldn't be 18 months so he wouldn't be able to walk beside me (and be trusted). As you can see, the control freak in me was losing control. <insert God>
The babies came. The chaos began. When I think back to the first few months, I do not remember much. Except for the times that my mom and Joe took a night shift (and several amazing friends and family), I would run on less than an hour of sleep most nights (and so did my mom). The babies rarely slept and cried for what seemed like days straight. Jake would cry and cover his ears. I would cry for Jake, for the babies, for Joe and for myself. However, this go 'round was different. I remember praying that God would heal the babies (digestion/reflux), but that he would make us stronger. We didn't need the storm to, necessarily, hurry through but just give us the strength to get through it. To grow us in HIM. He did. I would listen to the Mandisa song, 'Stronger' often. The words that I would sing over and over were...."when the waves are taking you under hold on just a little bit longer. He knows this is gonna make you stronger."
Up until a few months ago, I would say were just surviving. Things seemed to get easier each month, but me breaking my wrist and being in a cast for a month was a little setback. Not my best move as a mother to 3 under 2. Again, we survived it. We are marching into our season of thriving as the babies approach one in a few short weeks. Things are anything but easy, BUT I believe that's been God's plan all along. If it's easy, I would be working on my own strength. Now, I am in a place where if it's not HIM, it's not happening. When my feet hit the floor each morning he knows the exact amount of energy I need for that day and I BELIEVE he will give it to me.
I am thankful for a God that knows my weaknesses and chooses to show HIS STRENGTH in them. He is my Provider. He is my Comforter. He is my Shield. He is my Fortress. He is my EVERYTHING.
If you are feeling like you can't go on....like you cant put one foot in front of the other....I understand. I have been there (and some days I am still there). The thing is...you can. Not on your own strenth, but in His. He created this world. He created you. He knows exactly what you need so rely on his knowledge, strength and power.
I'll leave you with these words from a favorite worship song of mine (You Never Let Go by Matt Redman):
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
Just hang on. Trust. Rest in HIS awesomess (I am certain that is scriptural). ;)
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